How can we teach our child not to say “I can’t”?
The upbringing and development of the child begins at an early age, at home. However parents can help this process get started as soon as possible
The words he uses to the child are important, as well as the development of his own speech. Of course, no one is safe from the use of words with a negative meaning. This is not easy to avoid.
What every parent can work on is self-control of their own speech and appeals to the child.
As much as we want to “scold” him and show him in words that he was wrong, the important thing is to react to the action, and not to direct our anger at the child’s personality.
When he takes the first steps in something and achieves daily small victories, it is important to praise him and verbally reinforce his new skill.
The verb “I can” is one of the most powerful words . It is no coincidence Ivan Vazov that he wrote the poem “I can”. With this word we release inner confidence and make things seem easily achievable.
It is a program that through the verb to be able and the personal pronoun ” I ”, joins immediately and can work miracles.
What can we do?
Explain to the child the power of words. It’s good to mention that there are two words that have the power to make things happen – “I am” and “I am” I can ”. I am and I can, these are expressions with the power of magic spells.
Carefully monitor the child’s speech. When we hear that he has some hesitations and begins to pour his uncertainty and frustration into words, it’s good to come to the rescue.
Help your child with questions like:
- “How are you feeling now?”
- “What did you do to get here?”
- “Do you have any ideas for something different?”
We do not recommend the question “why”, to which there is virtually no unambiguous answer. It can only lead to more frustration and intrusion of negative ideas and thoughts.
Practice and Consolidation
Now it’s up to the child to follow your unobtrusive navigation and first steps in realizing the power of words. It is not necessary to make corrections and impose strict censorship, as this may have the opposite effect.
With a lot of attention to words, a correction is made by offering words with positive content. Correction can be done by repeating the same sentence, but with the desired word.
If we ask the child not to say “I can’t” , but at the same time this expression is present in our speech, we cannot expect a result.
It’s important to monitor yourself and be sensitive to what words we use. Words create reality and this applies in full force to our children.
Easy tricks from experts
Science has proven the influence of words on thought,
Words carry a kind of energy that in the form of waves (the author’s explanation) drives parts of our DNA. If this is the real influence of words, we can only imagine the power of their meaning in our lives.
One day without words with “no” in front of them. Let’s try to come up with synonyms all day and turn negative sentences with verbs into positive ones.
If one day is too much, we can try for one or several hours. When this happens in the form of a game and the child receives a reward, the result is more tangible.
For a month, when you get up say a nice word, such as “joy” . So as soon as we wake up, we are charged with this feeling. Good attitudes lead to a good mood and the use of a more positive vocabulary.
Let’s learn early on, our children to be polite, polite and careful in their choice of words. This is extremely important.
Let’s give them the task to use a hundred times a polite word a day, for example” thank you “. This educates in politeness and rethinking of values.
Before we say a word think about its content. This is exercise for older children. It requires a well-developed general culture. Educates the power of will.
Let’s learn one new word a day. When this exercise is done regularly, for example if the parent and child have the perseverance to do it for one year, this way of practicing the language develops the curiosity and culture of speech.
Speech hygiene – this is done when we make a conscious effort of the will not to utter dialect words, swear words or obscene words.
Sometimes parents fail to impose self-control and make the mistake of using such words
When our speech is cleared of such verbal parasites, we can be sure that our child subconsciously follows our example and is disgusted by their meaning and use.
Do an exercise with the child to list what they can do. For example: “I can paint, sing, wash dishes, tie my shoes“ “
No matter what skill or situation is discussed, it is important to emphasize the “ability” of this skill or reaction in a given situation. Educates in self-affirmation and high self-esteem.
To say one good thing to one person during the day. It’s important to tell the truth , not imaginary compliments.
There is no person who does not like compliments. We all love with our ears – we want to hear more and more positive comments about us.
My advice is to use the presentation of interesting and positive information wisely, to connect to the present moment.
Everyone, even the child, can say: “Today you are very beautiful with this hairstyle, dress, T-shirt…” or “You have a beautiful smile”. The important thing is to be honest and true.
Sometimes when we give a child a task, for example to make sandwiches for breakfast, he can unknowingly sabotage us, because he does not want to do it or is involved in other activities / unfortunately very often in the digital world /.
In such cases we calmly and unhurriedly explain again that it can do everything as long as he wants to.
An important point is to know the fact that learning is only voluntary when a person is motivated for it.
There are children who do not easily achieve academic progress in school. For them the need for motivation “I can” is the strongest . The phrase can unlock amazing abilities for learning, memorizing, understanding, logical thinking and more.
Children’s camp – teaches independence and discipline
When the children arrive at the camp, their first task in the “I can” concept is to stay in their room and arrange their personal belongings and luggage.
This is step one, day one. The task requires “I can” motivation. Teaches self-discipline and strengthens the will for self-realization.
A second task that many campers find difficult to accomplish is daily making their own bed in the morning.
This is something that even their parents often forget or don’t care to insist on. Fixing the bed is the first of many tasks of the day and dealing with it loads the “I can” program for the next twelve hours.
In the third task, our campers arrive with attitudes and upbringing , who received at home and at school.
We certainly develop concepts, values and beliefs. Our teachers are educators with extensive experience and the necessary faith in children’s abilities. We consider this to be their most valuable quality.
The ability to make a child on your own, believing in your own abilities is sacred . It is given to parents and teachers.
We also have this privilege and we work every second to earn it and work with our children.